Separation

I’ve made reference in a couple of posts now that I’ve been very stressed lately and that my marriage has been in trouble.  After much discussion, ‘S’ and I have decided to separate after 7 1/2 years of marriage.  He has found an apartment and starts moving out on the 30th, completely moving out once his furniture is delivered.  For the time being this is a trial separation.  We are going to see if we can’t somehow pull things together by the end of the year. However, if we have not made strides in that direction by December, we will file for divorce at that time

I always hate it when marriages break down and everyone suddenly has to be nasty as hell to one another.  I understand the feelings are raw during this time and of course being a couple means you know how to push each others ‘buttons’ like masters, but I think this just makes it harder for all parties involved.  I grew up with parents who actively disliked each other to put it mildly.  And while ‘S’ and I don’t have children, I think it still takes a toll to try to see who can out do the other.  So, I’ve decided to take the high road on this and keep it as civil as possible.  Don’t get me wrong, there are days that I am very angry and hurt and will lash out, but for the most part things have been pretty cordial.  I think a big part of this might be because I’m not really hung up on material items and second, ‘S’ is feeling kind of bad about this whole thing.  Although for the record,  it’s going to appear as if we are divorcing now since ‘S’ has purchased a whole new furniture set for his apartment and we are splitting ALL goods since he is paranoid that my good graces will disappear sometime down the road and I’ll “take anything that isn’t nailed down”.  So he’s taking everything he deems is “his” now, so I don’t later have a bonfire with it.  I’ll be honest, it irritates me that I’ve been deemed guilty on that front even though I’ve done NOTHING of the sort, but whatever.

On that note we have started packing his belongings and it was interesting last night when we were splitting up our movie collection, which for the record is quite large.  The funny thing is it came down to just two TV series, Family Guy & Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  We both wanted them.  There were a couple of others that were in the “both want” mix, but those were the two biggies.  We decided to compromise and I took Family Guy and he took Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  Neither of us were thrilled, but it was fair.  So far that’s been the tensest moment while splitting things up, but he’s a procrastinator so there might be more interesting moments before he’s settled in the new place.  We’ll have to see.