For The Ladies…

Before I started writing again I read through some of my older posts and I realized that I write a lot about the taboos in life such as BM’s, vomit, miscarriages, etc.  One thing I’ve yet to write about until tonight is our monthly friend.  That’s right, I’m going there…where riding the cotton pony has nothing to do with a horse, the crimson tide isn’t referring to football, and aunt flo isn’t some long lost relative.  So if you have dangly parts, you’ve been warned….Now just a little big of background on me.  I got my period young.  Like really freaking young.  I went through puberty in the summer between 3rd and 4th grade, when I was just 9 years old.  That’s 3 years earlier than the average girl in the US.  In fact it was so early that schools don’t even have sex education that even hints at periods until 5th grade and they didn’t go into detail about it until 6th grade.  My sister who is just over 2 and a half years older than me didn’t yet have her period so it never occurred to my mother to discuss it with me.So while on vacation with my family in Kansas, I got my period.  I thought I was dying.  I’m not kidding — I was freaked out.  But I didn’t know what to do about it and I was terrified that my family would think I did something wrong or my sister would make fun of me, so I hid it.  For 3 days I lived in this hell of not knowing what was happening to me and being sick with dread.  I would take long strips of toilet paper and fold it end over end into my panties and most often it leaked through so then I had to try to wash the panties in the sink before putting it in the dirty clothes or if they were too stained, hide them in the trash.  Finally on the 4th day I took my mom into the bathroom and showed her my panties.  I remember her being surprised and then trying to explain it to me but after I realized I was going to live, I was just mortified.  She asked me if I wanted to go to the store with her to get some pads and I was too embarrassed so my sister went with her instead.  When I got back to Phoenix, I told my friends but was terrified of anyone in my class finding out for years.  Eventually, all of my friends got their periods and I didn’t feel like such a freak but for a lot of years it was this horrible, shameful thing I had to deal with month after month.

Fast forwarding to today….  I have long since moved on from pads and tampons have long been my method of choice for dealing with this fun event every 28 days or so.  Tampon technology has even changed over the years.  They now have plastic applicators, tampons for active lifestyles, perfumed tampons, and now they’re even one step up from a fortune cookie.  I kid you not, I recently bought a box of Playtex Sport and the first tampon I grabbed had this phrase on the wrapper, “Get out there and show em’ what you got.”  So I started reading through the box — Here’s a sample of the motivational quotes from my tampon box…

“You’re in control here.”  “Winning isn’t everything.”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try again.”  “Pursue your dreams….without fear.”  “Be Proud.”  “Keep a clear head.”  “Go, fight. Win!”  “Walk like a champion”

Who the hell are these people hiring in their marketing departments?    It reminds me of Always and their TV commercials telling me to “Have a happy period.”  I used to have sudden urges to show my middle finger to the TV every time that commercial came on.  Have a happy period…..  Seriously.

As you can tell I’ve lost all shame discussing periods, much to ‘S’ dismay.  I think he would prefer that the word period was never mentioned and that the phrase, “Can you go get me a box of tampons…?” was never uttered in this house.  And he very will might get his wish on the second part cause I’ve now found a new method of dealing with my monthly friend that I thought you ladies might find interesting…

I actually found out about this in a rather round about way.  ‘S’ and I were watching Family Guy a couple of months ago and they were doing an episode where Peter & Lois were trying to cut back expenses because of the economy and save some money.  Lois is sitting at the table with these strips of white cotton pulled out from a couch cushion and and she says something like “There!  I’ve saved us another 20 cents with this homemade tampon.”  So later that night I got curious and I googled homemade tampons.  Not because I had a sudden desire to rip open my couch cushions, but I was curious if people actually made their own tampons.

Apparently there are people who do this cause there were sites that had the supplies for such an endeavor.  I’m all for saving money but I have to draw the line on this one, but more power to you if you’re one of the few who do this.  What caught my eye though was something called Menstrual Cups, and I’m like really?  What the hell is a menstrual cup….?  Here’s a picture of the MeLuna brand.

So I had to do more research.  At first I was intrigued and to be honest a little repulsed.  Because while I’ve had a period for almost 20 years now (Gee, am I really that old) I don’t exactly stare at my tampons once removed.  You pull and drop, and in goes the next one.  That’s about it.  Second, there is the “reuse” factor.  In other words, you empty said cup and then reinsert.  “Ewwww” is the word that came to mind.  Lastly, all I could think of was holy crap those things are HUGE!  There is no way that could fit comfortably.

But I continued to read… I read review sites, the pros, the cons, the people who got them and loved them, and the people who absolutely hated them and felt they were a huge waste of money.  Then I started calculating my personal costs for my monthly tampons and all the clothes and sheets I’ve ruined with tampons that have leaked due to a heavy flow and how these cups can reduce and eliminate leaks if handled correctly.  Let alone the discomfort I get from pulling wads of cotton in and out of my hoo hoo.  I go through just under 1 box of tampons per month at the average cost of $6.50, cause I buy the cheap brand.  Times that by 11 (since I don’t go through a full box each month) = Approx. $71.50/annually.  Since these little cups can last anywhere from 5 to 10 years tampons would cost me a total of $357.50 – $715.00 over 5 to 10 years assuming the price never went up.

But there was still that Ewww factor.  So I asked my friends, only 1 had ever heard of them and she wouldn’t try it but had a friend who owned one and swore by it.   I looked into the price & brands.  I figured in the very least I could say I tried it.  There are several different brands and sizes and so I ended up choosing one based on reviews and price, as for size to be honest I just guessed and chose medium.  The above black one is now the one I own.  MyLuna is not yet available here in the US and so I ordered it from the UK.  After the conversion my total price with shipping was $23.36.

So my period arrived while at work a couple of weeks ago so I took my cup into the bathroom to try to insert.  There are a bunch of different folds but I tried just the basic fold I read about and it slipped in fine and popped open.  Pushed it in a little further and then just in case put a pad on just in case it went horribly wrong.  After a couple of minutes it didn’t feel any different than a tampon.  An hour later I went back to the bathroom and no leaks.  So time to remove it.  You can actually keep it in for about 8 hours depending on your flow but I was curious to try the removal before it was full.  I thought my hands would get bloody but because the cup “catches” everything your hands remain clean.  I pushed on the side and broke the suction and pulled gently and it slipped right out.  Seeing one’s menstrual blood is a little gross but I just emptied it out in the toilet and then hobbled over to the sink rinsed it out and then reinserted.  After the first day I was sold.  After the first night of not having to get up once around 3am to change a tampon I was ecstatic.  Now after a full period I’m damn near a spokesperson for them.  I tell ALL the women I know about these things.

To run the numbers on it in 4 months I’ll have broken even as far as cost.  This year I’ll save $52.  And every year after will be a savings of at least $71.50.  If this cup was 3 times it’s cost or even the same as tampons I still think it’s worth it.  Check it out.  This is the site I purchased mine from —  http://www.femininewear.co.uk/

So go have yourself a Happy Period….

Air Filter Rebate

I ran across this a little while ago but as I hadn’t been posting, I had almost forgotten to let all of you know.

Filtrete (the brand) has a mail in rebate that is good until March 15 (only another 2 days) for $3 off any single or multi-pack of Filtrete air filters with a 1000 micropartical performance rating or better.  If you’d like the rebate form it’s available here – Filtrate Rebate Form

Has it really been so long?

Wow!  I knew it had been awhile since I’ve posted on here but didn’t realize that it had really been 6 months!  Goodness, you all must have thought that I’d given up on this poor blog.  Alas, I have not, just been occupied by lots of things.  So to catch you up to date on some stuff….

Still living in the same house, and still working for the same job…The Fish Company (Not really their name but due to a contract I’m not allowed to post their name on public blogs, etc.)  For those that aren’t aware, or don’t remember, I work in sales and am a product specialist.  This means of the 8-10 products the company sells, I specialize in just one and help other sales people, resellers, and end customers with technical questions, sizing out different models etc.  Last year they moved me to covering the West Coast which kind of sucked since it meant going into work at 11am but then working until 7-8pm depending on if I took time out for lunches or just had to stay late.  This meant that I was up late and slept most of the mornings away.  Not the schedule I preferred because while I’m a night owl, there’s not a ton of stuff to do at that time.  That and I missed the sun.

Luckily, mine and another specialists territory got too big (I guess we were too good at our jobs) and we could no longer keep up so at the end of January they broke up the territories and two people now cover what I used to do and I now cover the central time zone.  So now I come in anywhere from 9:30-10am EST and normally work until 5-5:30.  Keep in mind I don’t take a lunch break longer than 15 min. due to the fact that if I stopped working for an hour in the middle of my day I wouldn’t be inclined to work the rest of the day.  It’s all or nothing for me!

This allows me to get home a little earlier and have some time in the evening and then still be able to wake up naturally every morning.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I haven’t woken up to an alarm clock for about 4 years now, unless I have an early meeting.  It’s sooooo nice to be able to wake up naturally, and leisurely get up and get ready for work without a screaming alarm clock to start the day with.

The biggest news, which some of you may actually already be aware of is that ‘S’ and I are back together.  This actually happened about 5-6 months ago, but we were taking things slow between therapy and then him spending a lot of time over at the house before actually moving back in.  While I’m glad we are back together, I can honestly say that while I hadn’t exactly moved on, I had definitely come to terms with being on my own and had become comfortable with the idea of being single again if things ultimately didn’t work out.

This came about from several different things.  First, just time passing had really helped.  Second was therapy.  A lot of people say therapy is a waste, and I can certainly see that in some cases in can be.  Especially if you are just indifferent or no longer like the other person.  For both me and ‘S’ it ultimately helped us work through our problems, but even if our marriage had ended — for me it would have given me closure and let me know WHY it had broken down.  That is really important I think for being able to move on.  Another factor that was ultimately a little self esteem boost was spending time with a male friend of mine.  We have been friends for several years now and have no interest in a relationship with each-other, but it was nice to know one is still desirable to the opposite sex.  Some of you may disagree with his, but hey — ‘S’ left me.  And while I still had a piece of paper that said I was married, I was very much single at the time.

Finally, the last big helped was my family (a lot of my mother) and my friends, they were a great support network through all of this and often would just listen while I just talked and talked.  I’m sure, in fact I know, that some of my friends and readers don’t agree with my decision to get back with ‘S’ due to the reasons we split, but ultimately this is my life, and I’m happy with my decisions.  Both ‘S’ and I can say that we have a stronger marriage now than we did over the past 5 years.  I’m not saying that we had a bad marriage before then but rather things had really gotten into a rut & stale.  It was a very gradual thing and mostly I think we just didn’t realize how much we took life’s irritations out on each other, and how important communication was with one another.  Not to say that we never do now, but we are receptive to the other person pointing it out and then recognizing our behavior.  So things have definitely taken a turn for the positive.

Another big thing is that ‘S’ has gone back to school this semester and will be graduating this May with an associates degree in Criminal Justice.  From there his goal is to finish getting into shape (He’s been actively working on it now) and then go down to South Carolina and stay with family while he tries to get a job with one of the police depts down there.  In the meantime, I will continue to stay here in PA and work for The Fish Company.  We are debating about if he gets a job right away if I will stay here in PA for awhile yet to finish out my contract.  There is a big financial advantage if I do, but one has to weigh that against the emotional price of living apart.  If the company allows me to move and work from home, then it might solve all our problems.  This will be something that is decided later.

Other than that, the cats are doing well.  Baby, our oldest cat at 13 years old, has gotten skinny but I think has put on a little weight since we started feeding the horde at night with cans of wet food.  The younger 3 split one can and she gets one on her own since she’s unable to chew hard food well.  We’ll be taking her to the vet soon to get her checked out.

I have a couple of more posts rattling around in my head so more to come soon….

Who Blinks First?

I’ve suddenly been thrown into contemplation for the past 5 days.  ‘S’ was set to move in this weekend and even though we were scrambling like crazy to get everything done in preparation, and I was stressed to the max because of everything left to do, I was excited as well.  However, I got a text from ‘S’ on Monday morning that more or less said that he’s decided that he just doesn’t feel ready to move back because he feels that now would be a bad time to begin our marriage anew with all of the external stressors.  Now that was what he meant — what I actually got for a text went something like, “the reason why I was physically ill the day before and didn’t come over was that the thought of moving in and living with you (me) made me (him) sick with stress”.

My gut reaction to this wasn’t very pretty cause it involved me wanting to hurl my phone through my office window, but I managed to control myself, which I’m sure both the phone and window appreciated, and gently replied back asking him to explain what he meant.

After several back and forths we decided to drop it for the moment since we were both at work, but that it was definite that he wasn’t going to move back.  Now I feel like we just took a half a dozen steps back and are even worse off than when he moved out and we were going to therapy.  Because then he felt that our relationship was hopeless but I still wanted to work things out.  Now, he’s made it apparent that he’s not ready to be in a marriage and to be quite honest I’m REALLY tired of him constantly pulling the rug out from under me.

He was over the next day and was all lovey dovey with me and I couldn’t stand for him to touch me, let alone for me to look at him.  We had a long conversation (which of course meant me talking and all but beating him with a stick to get some sort of response) and I told him that I was getting very run down from his back and forth and being left to react based on his whims, and that right now I didn’t even like him very much let alone want to be in a marriage myself.  To me he has become an unreliable partner cause as soon as things get tough or stressful or require work it feels like he just buckles and runs.  So even if we work things out what’s to keep him from leaving the next time things get rough and it’s almost for sure that sometime down the road something is going to stress us both out, so now my fear is will he leave again?

In his defense I don’t think ‘S’ enjoys doing this to me.  I think he’s very confused as to what he wants long term.  He has struggled with low self esteem for several years now and feels very lost.   I’m not quite sure how to help him with this since I’ve always gotten my self worth from myself and the goals I accomplish.  Whereas he has almost no goals and even less projects or things he participates in.  He’s also afraid I think of moving in and then things not working out with us and then having to start all over again, which it took a lot for him to move out the first time.

However, my issue is how long do I wait?  How long do I put my life and plans on hold and remain faithful to someone who does not give me the same respect and curtsey in return?  I know some women have casual on-again, off-again relationships with boyfriends and even husbands and maybe that works for them.  I’m sure ‘S’ would just prefer that I just let things “be” with no expectations of him or our relationship.  But I’m not.  I’m a planner and I have goals and dreams that I want to do and accomplish before my short time on this Earth is through and they won’t get done when I’m just spinning my wheels in a relationship that shows no signs of getting any traction.

So here we sit…..

Me desperately wanting to salvage what is left of our relationship and wondering if he wants to salvage it as bad as I do?  Or are we just dragging out something that has really died long ago and just haven’t come to that realization?  I just don’t know.  But I doubt we will be in this stalemate very long, eventually one of us will have to make some decision.  After all, even no decision is ultimately a decision in itself.

So now the question is, who blinks first….?

Tell me ’bout the good old days…

I was just laying back listening to my ipod when a song popped on that I hadn’t heard in awhile.  I suddenly had a memory of when my grandfather and I used to hike and he’d tell me about when he was growing up on his family farm with his siblings.  Sometimes I miss him so much it just takes my breath away…..

Grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days
Sometimes it feels like this world’s gone crazy
And Grandpa, take me back to yesterday
When the line between right and wrong
Didn’t seem so hazy

Did lovers really fall in love to stay
And stand beside each other, come what may?
Was a promise really something people kept
Not just something they would say?
Did families really bow their heads to pray
Did daddies really never go away?
Oh, Grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days

Grandpa, everything is changing fast
We call it progress, but I just don’t know
And Grandpa, let’s wander back into the past
And paint me the picture of long ago

Did lovers really fall in love to stay
And stand beside each other, come what may?
Was a promise really something people kept
Not just something they would say?
Did families really bow their heads to pray
Did daddies really never go away?
Oh, Grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days
Oh, Grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days

So close, yet so far…

I’ve worked in sales now for about 5 years, first for RHD in yellow pages advertising, then left there to go work for a start up.  Last year the “Frog” company was purchased by another company which I can’t actually name in a blog because I signed an agreement saying I wouldn’t.  I’m not joking.

After the purchase I now I work for the “Fish” company and am once again in sales.  I’ve been working a VERY large deal now for about 6 months and it was very close to closing.  REALLY close…..like 2 weeks close.  So after 6 months, dozens of phone calls, and even more emails, 2 engineers actually going onsite and installing it, this baby was finally going to close and I was going to get my commisison.  Which for those wondering would have been approx. 2K.

Today I got an email from the engineer that has been working with the client that the unit is being sent back because we’re missing a few features that the client is looking for and the product manager isn’t going to be able to have them anytime in the near future.

So bye bye…farewell…adiós…money.  I miss you already!  

Garden Harvest 2

I went by my garden the other day and realized that my onions and potatos were ready to be harvested.  The tomatoes are also starting to come in but of course I don’t eat tomatoes so I’m still trying to decide what I’m going to do with them.

Potato apple anyone?

That’s a big white potato!  Go me the novice gardener!

Menu Planning

This weekend was my first attempt at menu planning.  I figured I would start small and since ‘S’ hasn’t moved back yet and so one meal has at least 1 or 2 leftovers as well.  The way I’m doing the meal planning is based on what is for sale for the week plus whatever coupons I may have.  I’ll then combine this with items I may already have in the house.  The theory being that even thought I’m buying more than I need some weeks, I’ll use them in upcoming weeks for other meals and since I bought them on sale I’ll be ahead.  I thought about listing it all out what I got but I thought a photo would be more impressive.  I got all of the food below for $32.96.  (The milk is 1/3 used cause I was cooking & didn’t think to take the photo until after)  The most expensive item I purchased was Ham Salad ($6.65) from the deli at Weis for my lunches.  It was the only item not on sale.  If you remove that item (it’s on the far left in front of the brownies) the total for the remaining items is $26.31

Now in order to determine if I was getting a good deal or not, I started a database.  Some people can remember what the prices are for items but I have almost no memory for numbers.  So I wrote out a list of all of the normal items we buy and then went to the 4 grocery stores (Walmart, Giant, Weis, Shurfine) in the area and wrote down the prices for each item or price per pound.  That way when there is a sale on that item or something comparable, I’ll know if it’s a good deal or not.  This is not a light undertaking to do in just 2 weeks.  Just to give you an idea time wise — I’ve invested about 8-10 hours total in this endeavor.  My hope is that it will pay off in the long run.  I won’t do this for every trip but here’s the savings per item by comparing the amount I paid to the lowest price between all 4 stores.

Betty Crocker Brownies – $0.49 per item x2 =$0.98

Hellvagood Sour Cream – $0.37

Turkey Hill Ice Cream – $0.50

Eggo Waffles – $0.10 per item x2 = $.20

Milk – $0.00 Savings (All 4 stores have the same price for store brand milk)

HillshireFarm Beef Sausage – $3.99 (was buy one get one free)

String Cheese – $0.40

Chuck Roast – $4.61 (was buy one get one free)

Total Savings = $11.05

So not a ton of savings but once again, this was on a small scale and I haven’t been getting the paper for about 6 months now so didn’t have any coupons stocked up.  And for all those Walmart haters out there (although I’m not one of them) all the items were purchased at the local chain grocery stores.  Also, please note that no coupons were harmed during this shopping trip.

 

Garden & Harvest

I’ve finally gotten around to posting some photos of my garden.  I’ve been hesitating cause I know I’m opening myself up to some reticule by more experienced gardners.  And yes, I know it needs some weeding.

Overview phot of the garden

Potatoes are on the right, then onions, and leaf lettuce

I planted WAY too much lettuce.

First tomato of the season!

The onions…I could have planted many more but I didn’t know how to space them out.

The two different flowers on the potato plants.  It’s interesting that the red potatoes have colored flowers and the white potatoes have white flowers.

First harvest of the season.  Very Exciting!!

Telephone Plumbing

I was a dumbass a few weeks ago.  I had been out in my garden after it had been raining and got mud all over my shoes.  Since my outside spigot needs to be fixed and I haven’t called a plumber yet I cleaned off the shoes the best I could with a stick and then took them inside to rinse in the sink.  I put the drain cover on to capture any big stones and then turned on the water.  I rinsed them off and thought everything was fine…until the next time I turned on my disposal.  I heard some bad grinding and as I went to quickly shut it off it stopped on it’s own and then just made a bad humming noise from the motor running.  Crap.

Turns out that some little pebbles had fit through the drain cover and went into the disposal.  I found this out after I stuck my hand down the disposal (with the switch off) and pulled out a couple.  My dad completely freaked when I told him I had been sticking my hand down the disposal without flipping the breaker first.  ‘S’ too was not real thrilled when he found out.  I think they both watch too many horror movies.   Because I thought they had a pretty good point about why I would want to flip the breaker, in order to keep all my fingers, I flipped the breaker then set to work tearing apart the disposal.

But then I got stuck so I sent my dad the photos below.

We decided that I couldn’t take it apart from the bottom so I’d have to attack it from the top.  I sent him the below photo and then had to painfully remove each and every little pebble and he helped by blowing up the below photo and telling me where he saw stones.

The tally at the end:

Total Calls – Approx 5

Total Hours – 2 1/2 Hours

Total Cost – $0.00